I’m a health editor about to turn 50. Here’s what I wish I could tell my younger self

There’s something about celebrating a big birthday that makes you look back and take stock of your life. My 50th is on the horizon and it’s made me realise how much I’ve learned along the way – and how much easier life in my twenties would have been if I’d known then what I know now.

Some of these are external, like buying a property when you could still get a 100% mortgage. But some are internal, such as knowing your worth or when to say no.

So here’s all the advice I wish I’d had in my twenties. From beauty tips to setting boundaries, I hope there’s something here that you find helpful, whether you’re 25 or still feel like you are.

Food should be fun, not functional

I turned 20 in the mid 90s, slap bang in the era of skinny chic and the Atkins diet. Food wasn’t something to savour, it was just a collection of nutrients: carbs – bad; fat – worse; vitamins – what? I thought I was fat (sidenote: you are never as fat as you think you are) and would often skip meals.

Jenny Tschiesche, nutritionist and cookbook author, says she felt the same pressure in her twenties. “I wish I hadn’t focussed so much on my weight – I equated being slim with being healthy,” she says. “But health isn’t about the number on the scale. It’s about strength and energy, and supporting your body for the decades ahead.”

Luckily, Jamie Oliver came along in 1997. He made cooking cool but also made us understand that food was a pleasure to enjoy. Today, I love the fact that so many young men and women love to cook, and are far more knowledgeable about what they put into their bodies. But there’s still a risk we can see food as fuel, not fun.

Jenny says: “You should be eating in a way that supports strong bones, a healthy metabolism and steady energy, so prioritising whole, nutrient-dense foods like colourful vegetables and lean proteins. But don’t lose sight of the bigger picture – eating is about nourishing your body and enjoying life, not checking off a tick list.”

In other words, eat the damn burger. Especially as protein helps support muscle mass, which naturally declines with age.

Don’t judge yourself via social media

One thing I’m very pleased wasn’t around in the 90s is social media. I could make all my mistakes in private and there were no influencers telling me what outfit to wear, how to restock my giant fridge or showing off their 12-step skincare routine. But young women today are bombarded with this type of content.

Lucy Sheridan, a comparison coach, says: “Influencers and brands don’t just sell us clothes anymore; they sell us bodies and lifestyles and entire identities. The ‘inspiration’ we get fed can be useful but it’s also exhausting. You’re not only comparing what milestone you’ve reached, but also how quickly you got there.”

For example, if you moved into your own place at the age of 28 – either renting or buying – you might beat yourself up because you believe you should’ve got there at 27. “That’s the kind of cruelty comparison deals out,” says Lucy. But how do you stop comparing yourself to others and start to build self-confidence?

“A simple but powerful practice is to check in on your values twice a year. Once, around your birthday and again six months later,” Lucy says. “Ask yourself, what matters to me right now? What behaviours do I respect in myself and others? How can I live those more? Holding yourself gently accountable to those answers will start to build your self-confidence, brick by brick.”

It pays to know your worth

Women of any age struggle to ask for more money in job interviews or push for a well-deserved pay rise – research shows 55% of us in the UK have never negotiated over our salary. There are many reasons for this, from social conditioning to women working in traditionally lower paid roles like cleaning, plus the gender pay gap.

It does feel scary asking for extra money, especially at the start of your career, but I wish I’d been brave enough to challenge some of the low salaries I was stuck on in my twenties. Rather than simply asking for it outright, Danni Hewson, a financial expert from AJ Bell, says you need to pick your moment.

“If your employer is in financial difficulty, they’ll be unwilling to listen your request. But other dates, like before the new financial year or around your work anniversary, may be more opportune moments,” she says.

It’s also worth collecting some evidence to back up your request. Danni says: “You know if you’ve put in extra hours to successfully deliver a project but does your boss? Don’t be shy about spelling out all the reasons you’re worth more. It might feel uncomfortable but writing everything down makes it easier to pitch your pay rise.”

I also wish I’d put more money into a savings account but it’s never too late to start. Charlene Young, a personal finance expert, says: “You don’t need a big lump sum – saving little and often can be just as powerful. A pension should be key but investing in a stocks-and-shares ISA is also tax-free and you can still take your money out.”

Trust your face, not trends

Leave your eyebrows alone. Honestly. It’s not worth plucking or waxing them into whatever shape is fashionable this year (this advice also applies to your bikini line). I never went full Pamela Anderson in the 90s but I never quite managed to grow my eyebrows back to their full glory in the years after.

“It’s tempting to follow the latest brow trend but your eyebrows are for life, not just a season,” says Aisha Joseph, senior beauty therapist at Strip Hair Removal Experts in London. “Step away from the tweezers and leave any shaping to the experts.”

A brow technician (another thing I’m grateful for these days) will assess your face shape and see how your brows grow, then use techniques like threading or lamination to create a shape that balances out your face and enhances your natural features. And if you did over-pluck them in the 90s, there’s still hope.

Aisha says: “Stop any plucking or waxing right now and start using a brow serum to stimulate hair growth. It can take up to a year for your brows to recover, so be patient.” Or you could keep copying Pammy and go make-up free in your fifties?

Lift heavy, live happy

I didn’t have social media, smartphones or eyebrows in my twenties but we didn’t have gyms either. Nobody had a gym membership, unless they played squash or something weird, but that changed during my thirties. Today there are at least two gyms on every high street and taking care of your physical health is 100% normal.

“In the 90s, gym culture was all about gym bros and looking good, rather than training for fitness or health,” says Thibo David, a performance coach and ex-commando (and Harry Styles’ personal trainer). “But some people today are still training for aesthetic goals, rather than looking after their longevity.”

Instead of a quick fitness fix – such as getting in shape for summer or a wedding – Thibo says young women should be training for their long-term health. “Focussing on joint mobility, flexibility and spinal integrity will all help prevent those little niggles like sore ankles or a bad back that stop you exercising as you get older,” he says.

Lifting weights was seen as something only men did in the 90s but lots of women now swear by strength training. For those of us in perimenopause or post-menopause, strength training is particularly important to help maintain bone strength and muscle mass.

“All you need is a heavy 20kg kettlebell and use it to do squats or deadlifts for about 15 minutes a day,” says Thibo. “Working your leg muscles releases testosterone [as levels drop during menopause], builds muscle and improves your balance, which are all essential for a long and healthy life. Lift heavy, live happy!”

Be brave and brilliant

I was terrified of so many things when I was younger – of leaving a bad relationship, of calling out bad behaviour at work, of telling someone I was falling in love with them – but I didn’t have the guts to do it or the knowledge that I’d be okay.

Lucy says taking risks is a key part of figuring out who we are but it is so much harder to do when we’re younger. “I wish I’d taken more risks in my thirties because the mistakes I made ended up being the making of me,” she says. “They built my resilience, gave me skills and stories, and opened doors I didn’t even know existed.”

You could try taking small risks – like going to a new sandwich shop or walking home a different way from work – and build up to bigger life decisions. For me I had no choice – I was made redundant, broke up with my partner, sold my house and moved to Australia all in the same year. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Today, I have far fewer f**ks to give but I think this is due to my age. Older people simply care less what others think of them. But over the years I’ve also found a great quote to live my life by, courtesy of Winnie the Pooh: “You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

And you are never, ever, as fat as you feel.

Additional reporting by Sarah Adams.

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